In War We Trust

In a speech to ministry students Sarah Palin stated that the United States deployed our troops to fight in Iraq on “…a task that is from God.” George W. Bush once said, “I believe God wants me to run for president,” then later said, “God told me to strike at al Qaeda and I struck them, and then he instructed me to strike at Saddam, which I did, and now I am determined to solve the problem in the Middle East.” Well then, I say it’s high time that this god guy starts chucking in some much needed cash to fight it. Since he hasn’t sent a flood to wipe out Baghdad in some Sodom and Gomorrah type disaster, or sent any kind of heat storm that melted al Qaeda terrorists in their tracks, I think we should at least be requesting some assistance. I don’t know, maybe a hundred and fifty billion dollars so we don’t have to borrow more from China. Or maybe he could give back the thousands of troops that Bush and Cheney gave away. Maybe this miracle worker could perform a limb regrowth on even one vet who now controls his wheelchair with his tongue.

I understand that he’s a busy guy, what with having to tend to boxers knocking out their opponents, and helping receivers snag touchdown passes. I understand he has a full plate in keeping holy that first commandment “Thou shall not kill”… wait… I’m sorry, scratch that. Regardless, since the guy tasked us with a war in Iraq, at least he could act as the project manager, and pay his employees with some added benefits. Maybe put up an invisible wall to deflect the next detonated IED, or better yet, detonate it while its being planted. Whatever he, she, or it does, it needs to do something fast, because Sarah Palin also said that building a natural gas pipeline through Alaska “…is the will of God.” She is now adding more to his plate, and if I’m right in believing this god has truly poor time-management skills, we’ll see a gas pipeline being built through Alaska before any alternative fuel research is funded, before our children can be treated in a hospital without having their parents lose their home in paying for it, and before our troops ever make it home to their own families.